“The privilege of a liftetime is to become who you truly are.”

C.G. Jung

Individual Therapy

Therapy offers a safe, welcoming and reflective space in which to understand and to be understood; to be and to become who you are, on your unique life’s journey.

Psychodynamic therapy aims to address the underlying roots of present difficulties at a level of depth, towards the discovery of new, more fulfilling and authentic ways of living, relating and being. The regularity of weekly sessions provides a unique opportunity for deep self-exploration and support around whatever concerns you may bring, within an atmosphere of respect, compassion and non-judgment.

My Approach

My practice is rooted in a body of theory known as relational psychoanalysis (best known for its work on attachment theory), which takes the view that our early life experiences powerfully shape our present-day ways of relating, experiencing and moving through the world.

As a psychodynamic therapist with a Jungian and somatic orientation, my stance is one of special curiosity towards the information – and often wisdom – held within dreams, the body, and even the very challenges that may bring us to therapy in the first place.

As a trauma-informed practitioner, I draw from the fields of somatic psychology and polyvagal theory, taking a gentle, psycho-educative, body-based approach to working with  trauma with the aim of discovering a felt sense of safety, aliveness and empowerment.

However, therapy is not only about looking back, but onwards, toward the direction that your current strengths and struggles lead in your path of unique, personal unfolding; what is termed, in Jungian language, ‘individuation’.

Indeed, as well as being a way of supporting areas of difficulty and suffering within our lives, therapy also aims to help us live more fully, in a greater sense of aliveness, authenticity and connection in the present.

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, I view the therapeutic relationship itself as central to the transformative process that therapy can be. Over time, the building of a reliable, trusting therapeutic relationship can become the container within which a deeper healing takes place.

How We Work Together

Psychodynamic therapy is a form of depth psychotherapy and, as such, typically unfolds over a longer period of time, in a long-term (anywhere from around 9 months to several or many years) or an open-ended therapeutic relationship. As such, it is best suited to individuals with a curiosity and commitment towards their personal development and self-understanding.

However, shorter, fixed-term and single-issue focused work (anywhere between six sessions to around 6 months) can also be suitable and beneficial for some individuals and concerns. The duration of therapy best suited to you and your circumstances can be discussed during our first meetings.

These sessions are yours, a space for you to be as you are.

It is my intention to offer an environment that is safe, accepting and open in which you can speak freely about how things are for you and feel seen, heard and responded to.

While I offer reflections and perspectives that I hope may be valuable, I am non-directive, and my aim is to facilitate your connection with your own self. It is what you choose to bring to each session that will guide the focus of our work.

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I’ll meet you there.”

Jalaluddin Rumi

Couple & Relationship Therapy

Couples and relationship partners of all kinds seek out therapy for a wide range of reasons: To resolve a point of contention and get unstuck from unhelpful patterns of conflict. To negotiate discrepancy in desire, address differences in sexual needs and preferences, and repair broken places in intimacy and trust. To navigate a significant change in the relationship or life circumstances, such as a change in relationship style, or becoming new parents. And generally to learn how to better love one another.

It is normal to encounter difficulty in intimate relationships. The myth that relationships should be easy and come naturally can lead many couples to delay the decision to consider counselling. However, you don’t need to reach crisis point to seek support. 

In fact, it is often the places we struggle most in our intimate partnerships that offer the greatest potential for growth and transformation. With intention and commitment, tending to your relationship can transform it from a place of frustration and difficulty to a source of personal growth, fulfilment and true intimacy.

This is where couples therapy can help.

My approach

I take an active approach that draws focus to the ‘how’ of your interactions as a couple/ relationship, as well as the ‘what’ and the ‘why’: the particular issues you bring to sessions, and their roots in your personal and relationship history.

My aim is to help shed light upon the habitual patterns of relating that may underlie places of ‘stuck’-ness and difficulty, to support you in learning to better hear and attune to one another, and to develop skills to communicate more authentically and effectively.

In the process, I hope to help you learn something new about yourself and your partner, and to utilise the challenges you encounter as opportunities for growth, both as individuals and as a couple, towards a relationship of deeper joy and connection, freedom and fulfilment.

I draw from a range of approaches and techniques in my approach, tailoring to each unique couple and relationship. My training in Imago Relationship Therapy and Encounter-Centred Couples Therapy enables me to support couples in fostering new depths of intimacy, trust and true connection, by facilitating safe and structured conversations around challenging topics. I also bring training in Relational Life Therapy, and the neuro-psycho-social model of couples therapy, which aid in accurately identifying the nature and potential roots of relationship challenges, as well as means of skilfully addressing these in the present. 

Who I work with

With an inclusive approach, I work affirmatively with individuals and relationships across the spectrum of gender, sexuality and relationship diversity; heterosexual and LGBTQ+; monogamous and ethically non-monogamous/ polyamorous; married, partnered and dating.  I am kink-knowledgeable and familiar working with a range of relationship styles and gender dynamics.

I am experienced in working with couples navigating a wide range of relationship challenges and transitions, including discrepancy in sexual desire and issues with sexual intimacy; chronic and high conflict; fertility treatments and new parenthood; gender transition; navigating change in relationship style; infidelity and betrayal; intercultural issues; and challenging family dynamics, to name but a few.

I see couples at all stages of relationship, whether this means deepening into commitment, navigating a change in relationship style or status, or separating.

I recognise that embarking on relationship therapy can feel like a vulnerable and potentially exposing process, and work with care to put you at ease. Whatever it is that is of concern to you, I welcome you to be in touch to arrange an initial consultation to discover whether therapy may be able to help. You can reach me via email at sophiebarnestherapy@gmail.com

Qualifications & Certifications

Core Trainings

• Postgraduate Diploma in Psychodynamic Psychotherapeutic Counselling (PgDip)
• Senior Accredited Member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (MBACP Snr. Accred.)
• Certificate in Couple and Relationship Therapy, Accredited at Level 5 by the College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists (COSRT)
• Accredited Sexual Violence Therapist, RASASC South London

Other Couple & Relationship Trainings

• Foundation Certificate in Imago Relationship Therapy
• Certificate in Relational Life Therapy (Level 1)
• Encounter-Centred Couples Therapy (CPD)
• Certificate in Non-violent Communication

Other Certifications & Continued Professional Development (CPD)

• Hakomi Mindful Somatic Psychotherapy (ongoing, regular workshop attendance since 2017) 
• Certificate in Jungian Somatics
• C.G. Jung Club London Seminars (CPD)
• Working with trauma (CPD)
• Polyvagal theory and the nervous system (CPD)
• Gender, Sexuality & Relationship Diversity (GSRD) and LGBTQ+ affirmative practice (CPD)
• ASIST Suicide Prevention Training

Relevant Academic

• MPhil Multi-Disciplinary Gender Studies, University of Cambridge
• MA (Cantab) Theology and Religious Studies, University of Cambridge

Relevant Other

• Certified Somatic Meditation Instructor

What to expect

Once you have been in touch, I will let you know the spaces I have available and, if any of these are suitable, we can then arrange an initial consultation.

I will provide a copy of my therapeutic agreement for you to review in advance of our first session, which outlines the terms of the therapeutic contract, including around confidentiality and my policy on cancellations.

The initial consultation is an opportunity for us to meet, discuss your hopes for therapy and get a sense of what working together in a therapeutic relationship might be like. It’s also an opportunity for me to understand what you are looking for through therapy and if this is something I am able to support you with.

There is no expectation that you begin therapy with me after the initial session, and you are welcome to take time to reflect and consider whether you would like to work together.

Concessionary Rates 

I offer a limited number of lower-cost concessionary spaces to those on a low income, arranged on a sliding scale subject to individual circumstances. Please enquire for availability if you require a reduced fee, sharing an amount that would be sustainable for you.